The Secret to Being Likable, Why Your First Impression is so Important

Do you remember your first day of school, how about your first time home alone, your first time going to a school dance, or even tasting that first glorious bite of a Citadel high school muffin? Neat facts about humans, we almost always remember our firsts and whether it's an experience or a person, our first impressions matter a lot, both to us and others.

First impressions are so important, aside from just being memorable, given they play a huge part in how we see and act around people. As we grow and age we develop an unconscious bias towards certain traits, features, and mannerisms that our brain has developed using a mechanism created to “keep us safe”, helping us to determine whether to keep our guard up or relax around people we have only just met. Making a good first impression on someone means making the person feel comfortable and open around you, not only for that interaction but also for any time you meet them in the future.

First impressions help to shape future interactions with those around you through something called the halo effect. The halo effect is a distortion of perception, it occurs when a positive impression of a person or thing is created based on one characteristic (going back to the unconscious bias we have). Due to this, creating a positive first impression of yourself will actually change the judgments made by the other person about you in the future. If someone already sees you in a positive light it's much easier for them to explain or disregard negative actions you make, whereas if they already see you negatively or don't feel strongly about you, negative actions are much more likely to affect how they see you.

Research done by a university coined the 7/11 rule. This rule states that in the first 7 seconds of meeting someone they make 11 impressions about you. Believe it or not, there are things beyond communication that you can do to set yourself apart, even before those initial 7 seconds. How you present yourself and your body language are key things people look at subconsciously when meeting others. To avoid making yourself seem uninterested, bored, or tired you can open yourself up to the person you are meeting, maintain eye contact, and keep your posture upright. This makes you appear friendly, put together, and engaged which can help lead to a more productive conversation or understanding. It’s also beneficial to relate and parry aspects of the conversation when possible as it helps to connect both you and the other person, especially when meeting for the first time. Overall creating a good first impression is relatively simple and can almost always be achieved by being punctual, dressing to the occasion/event, smiling, having friendly and open body language and communication, as well as simply having confidence in yourself. 

Confidence is an attractive trait because it comes from self belief. When someone else sees that you are outwardly confident (standing up straight, speaking with clarity, etc.) it shows that you value both yourself and your self-beliefabilities. Confidence is almost intoxicating to others and making yourself appear that way through an initial interaction can play a key part in creating that perfect first impression.

In conclusion, first impressions play a huge role in how we see and act around others. You can't control every judgment people make about you, but you can control yourself. Because of this, you can help ensure a good first impression by focusing on how you act and present yourself around new people. That said, you can also use knowledge of first impressions to your advantage, it’s easy to let our opinions get the better of us and to form judgments based on so few interactions but sometimes taking a little bit more time to form a strong opinion on someone can help both you and them form a better understanding of each other.

Works Cited

“The First Impression Bias.” The Decision Lab, https://thedecisionlab.com/reference-guide/psychology/the-first-impression-bias. Accessed 25 November 2024.

“5 Reasons Why First Impressions Are The Most Important.” StartBlox, https://startblox.com/blog/5- reasons-for-great-first-impressions/. Accessed 25 November 2024.

Nikolopoulou, Kassiani. “What Is the Halo Effect? | Definition & Examples.” Scribbr, 2 December 2022, https://www.scribbr.com/research-bias/halo-effect/. Accessed 25 November 2024.

Okten, Irmak Olcaysoy. “Studying First Impressions: What to Consider? – Association for Psychological Science – APS.” Association for Psychological Science, 31 January 2018, https://www.psychologicalscience.org/observer/studying-first-impressions-what-to-consider. Accessed 25 November 2024.